Review by Brookelin Thorpe

Frozen – or the Almost Bromance for Girls

Not too long ago, I was watching The Little Mermaid again for the first time in years, and realized something that had escaped my notice as a little girl: 16-year-olds make terrible decisions.

And in Disney movies, those decisions tend to be met with good fortune. Ariel runs off with a prince she hasn’t so much as spoken to yet, and in the end, it’s her dad who has to make a change of heart. No wonder our teenagers think they know everything.


Pictured: deep conversation with a man who is completely passed out.

Frozen is not taking that crap. Stupid decisions are met with consequences.

We even cheer the boy-next-door, Kristoff, when he reasonably declines Anna’s help by saying, “I don’t trust your judgement,” after she consults the Disney handbook of What to do Around Boys and concludes she ought to get engaged to pretty much the first one she sees.

A decade ago, they would’ve lived happily ever after. Today, we are not so naive.

And that’s just the first time Frozen turns typical Disney lessons on its head.

A cursory glance at other review sites suggests that Frozen might be another feminist ploy. I think it’s a curiosity that in 2013 females occupying center-stage should still be called ‘feminism’ – instead of, I don’t know… ‘a movie.’

But alas, it is a belated delight to see not one, but two females at the helm who aren’t at all enemies. I have a huge soft spot for non-romantic love on screen – a spot that Hollywood has most frequently struck with endearing bromances – but Frozen’s Elsa and Anna plow straight onto the bulls eye. It’s the start of a new genre – sistmance. Romanster? A femance? I’m not good at naming things.

All in all, Frozen doesn’t make a big deal of it’s female-led cast. They just slip the characters in and leave it at that – unlike the more recent Brave, which screamed, “look at our strong female lead!!!!1! Aren’t we totally breaking the freaking mold right now?!?”

And Frozen’s not so fem-alienating as to shut the male audience out, either. I have a 7 year old brother and a 23 year old (male) cousin who both adored the movie. This may be bolstered by the fact that the male cast isn’t exactly humdrum or stupified, itself.


Except for when it’s adorable.

I mentioned before that Kristoff didn’t just let Anna’s teenage impulses fly. He called her on her crap – a refreshing take on the typical princess nonsense. Mind you, he didn’t insult her or “take her down a notch,” as a modern day PUA might suggest you handle a more figurative ‘princess.’ Kristoff is plain about how ridiculous getting engaged after a day really is, but he doesn’t become disrespectful.

Our main romantic male interest is able to stand out as a great character all on his own rather than simply being the prince who is handsome and charming and sweet, and just oh so in love with our princess. He is recognizable as someone we might actually run into in real life.

My biggest complaint with Frozen is the rock trolls and their inexplicable magic. Not that magic isn’t always inexplicable, so I guess a better term for it might be: convoluted.

I can’t even accurately relay to you how they explain away the events of the story because I didn’t quite catch the gist of them myself. Something, something, vague metaphor about your literal heart being literally your emotional command center. Or were they being figurative? I have basically no idea, and I’m pretty sure neither do they.


How do I story?

It seems the only point of the trolls is to upset family dynamics because it’ll be fun to see what happends 10 years later. The first few scenes of the film will have most adults silently screaming that the troll solution makes zero g@#$*%n sense. Or, did I miss the memo where sweeping potential problems under the rug wasn’t a bad idea?

The musical number trying to hook up our possible romantic leads wasn’t exactly a shining moment, either. Must we? Must we do this every time? “Oh look! Matching genitals. Let’s sing about that.”

Though, they did ever so briefly briefly break the typical every-girl’s-a-Disney-princess mold towards the end by suggesting that the girl might also be a “fixer-upper.” Though they squandered the opportunity by using it to suggest she merely needed to drop her current fiance – rather than suggest that girls are also people and sometimes also need to work on their flaws. Let’s start with impulse-control.

And, as with many Disney movies, they sing about everything. Granted, I do love me a good musical, but it’s as if they ran out of actual song ideas, but are contractually obligated by the devil to occupy at least a third of the movie with the characters freaking singing about something, so they defer to sing-talking. Which I hate.

There is literally a (sung) line that goes, “the window is open, so’s that door,” to describe exactly that. What is this, Les Miserables? I don’t understand why this is happening.

To their musical credit, I defy you to behold Elsa’s breakout song and not get chills.

Speaking of Elsa, we typically see women who have some control over winter portrayed as cold and menacing villains. It is a wonder that Elsa was given compassion and spirit – if also being a hermetic outcast, for all the most misguidedly benevolent reasons.

Not only is she compassionate, she is also responsible and level-headed, seeing clearly through her younger sister’s rashness, and rightfully protecting her where a degree of adult intervention is needed.

Our Rating:

Times we teared up: twice.
Times we laughed: a bajillion.
Cringe-worthy musical numbers: at least 3.
Striking musical numbers: 2.
Times we’ll rewatch (this year): 4.

World War Z – or the U.N. Agent Who Loved Us

Not too long ago, I was watching The Little Mermaid again for the first time in years, and realized something that had escaped my notice as a little girl: 16-year-olds make terrible decisions.

And in Disney movies, those decisions tend to be met with good fortune. Ariel runs off with a prince she hasn’t so much as spoken to yet, and in the end, it’s her dad who has to make a change of heart. No wonder our teenagers think they know everything.


Pictured: deep conversation with a man who is completely passed out.

Frozen is not taking that crap. Stupid decisions are met with consequences.

We even cheer the boy-next-door, Kristoff, when he reasonably declines Anna’s help by saying, “I don’t trust your judgement,” after she consults the Disney handbook of What to do Around Boys and concludes she ought to get engaged to pretty much the first one she sees.

A decade ago, they would’ve lived happily ever after. Today, we are not so naive.

And that’s just the first time Frozen turns typical Disney lessons on its head.

A cursory glance at other review sites suggests that Frozen might be another feminist ploy. I think it’s a curiosity that in 2013 females occupying center-stage should still be called ‘feminism’ – instead of, I don’t know… ‘a movie.’

But alas, it is a belated delight to see not one, but two females at the helm who aren’t at all enemies. I have a huge soft spot for non-romantic love on screen – a spot that Hollywood has most frequently struck with endearing bromances – but Frozen’s Elsa and Anna plow straight onto the bulls eye. It’s the start of a new genre – sistmance. Romanster? A femance? I’m not good at naming things.

All in all, Frozen doesn’t make a big deal of it’s female-led cast. They just slip the characters in and leave it at that – unlike the more recent Brave, which screamed, “look at our strong female lead!!!!1! Aren’t we totally breaking the freaking mold right now?!?”

And Frozen’s not so fem-alienating as to shut the male audience out, either. I have a 7 year old brother and a 23 year old (male) cousin who both adored the movie. This may be bolstered by the fact that the male cast isn’t exactly humdrum or stupified, itself.


Except for when it’s adorable.

I mentioned before that Kristoff didn’t just let Anna’s teenage impulses fly. He called her on her crap – a refreshing take on the typical princess nonsense. Mind you, he didn’t insult her or “take her down a notch,” as a modern day PUA might suggest you handle a more figurative ‘princess.’ Kristoff is plain about how ridiculous getting engaged after a day really is, but he doesn’t become disrespectful.

Our main romantic male interest is able to stand out as a great character all on his own rather than simply being the prince who is handsome and charming and sweet, and just oh so in love with our princess. He is recognizable as someone we might actually run into in real life.

My biggest complaint with Frozen is the rock trolls and their inexplicable magic. Not that magic isn’t always inexplicable, so I guess a better term for it might be: convoluted.

I can’t even accurately relay to you how they explain away the events of the story because I didn’t quite catch the gist of them myself. Something, something, vague metaphor about your literal heart being literally your emotional command center. Or were they being figurative? I have basically no idea, and I’m pretty sure neither do they.


How do I story?

It seems the only point of the trolls is to upset family dynamics because it’ll be fun to see what happends 10 years later. The first few scenes of the film will have most adults silently screaming that the troll solution makes zero g@#$*%n sense. Or, did I miss the memo where sweeping potential problems under the rug wasn’t a bad idea?

The musical number trying to hook up our possible romantic leads wasn’t exactly a shining moment, either. Must we? Must we do this every time? “Oh look! Matching genitals. Let’s sing about that.”

Though, they did ever so briefly briefly break the typical every-girl’s-a-Disney-princess mold towards the end by suggesting that the girl might also be a “fixer-upper.” Though they squandered the opportunity by using it to suggest she merely needed to drop her current fiance – rather than suggest that girls are also people and sometimes also need to work on their flaws. Let’s start with impulse-control.

And, as with many Disney movies, they sing about everything. Granted, I do love me a good musical, but it’s as if they ran out of actual song ideas, but are contractually obligated by the devil to occupy at least a third of the movie with the characters freaking singing about something, so they defer to sing-talking. Which I hate.

There is literally a (sung) line that goes, “the window is open, so’s that door,” to describe exactly that. What is this, Les Miserables? I don’t understand why this is happening.

To their musical credit, I defy you to behold Elsa’s breakout song and not get chills.

Speaking of Elsa, we typically see women who have some control over winter portrayed as cold and menacing villains. It is a wonder that Elsa was given compassion and spirit – if also being a hermetic outcast, for all the most misguidedly benevolent reasons.

Not only is she compassionate, she is also responsible and level-headed, seeing clearly through her younger sister’s rashness, and rightfully protecting her where a degree of adult intervention is needed.

Our Rating:

Times we teared up: twice.
Times we laughed: a bajillion.
Cringe-worthy musical numbers: at least 3.
Striking musical numbers: 2.
Times we’ll rewatch (this year): 4.

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